The 7 Questions Every Dental Patient Wants to Ask (But Feels Too Awkward to Say Out Loud)

02 / 04 / 2026

You’re sitting in the dental chair. There’s something you desperately want to ask.

But it feels stupid. Or embarrassing. Or like you should already know the answer. So you stay quiet, Google it later, and get seven conflicting answers from forums written by people who might not even have teeth.

Here are the questions every dentist hears eventually—and the honest answers we wish you’d just ask us directly.

Question 1: “Can you actually tell I haven’t been flossing?”

The short answer: Yes. Immediately.

The longer answer: It’s not about catching you in a lie or judging your life choices. It’s about clinical indicators that tell us what’s happening between appointments.

Healthy gums don’t bleed when probed. They’re pink, firm, and sit snugly around your teeth. Gums that bleed easily, appear red or swollen, or have started to recede are showing us inflammation. That inflammation comes from bacterial buildup in places your toothbrush doesn’t reach—the spaces between your teeth.

We can also see calculus (hardened plaque) building up in areas that only floss or interdental brushes can access. Your toothbrush, no matter how good your technique, simply cannot clean between teeth effectively.

But here’s what matters more than whether we can tell: lying about flossing doesn’t help you. If we think you’re maintaining good oral hygiene and your gums are still deteriorating, we might assume there’s an underlying health issue and order unnecessary tests. If we know you’re struggling with the routine, we can adjust our approach and find solutions that actually work for you.

Esti Mayans, our hygienist, would rather you admit you hate flossing and work with you to find an alternative—interdental brushes, water flossers, whatever you’ll actually use—than have you nod along while she explains flossing technique you have no intention of following.

Just be honest. We’re not your parents. We’re trying to help you keep your teeth.

Question 2: “Will this hurt? And will you believe me if I say it does?”

The pain anxiety cycle is real. People underreport discomfort because they’ve been dismissed before, or because they don’t want to seem difficult, or because they worry the dentist will think they’re exaggerating.

Modern anaesthetic is extraordinarily effective. When it’s properly administered and given time to work, most dental procedures shouldn’t hurt. You might feel pressure, vibration, or strange sensations, but not pain.

But—and this is crucial—”shouldn’t hurt” is not the same as “won’t hurt.” Bodies respond differently. Some people metabolise anaesthetic faster. Some have anatomical variations that make numbing certain areas more difficult. Some procedures are near areas that are tricky to anaesthetise completely.

If something hurts, we need to know. Not because you’re bothering us, but because pain means we need to adjust. More anaesthetic. Different injection site. A pause to let the existing anaesthetic spread further.

Dr. Farah Rajabali’s approach to working with nervous patients is built on this principle: you’re in control of the stop signal. Raise your hand, and everything stops. No irritation, no pressure to “just get through it,” no dismissal of what you’re feeling.

For some people, regular anaesthetic isn’t enough because the anxiety itself creates a heightened pain response. Your nervous system is on high alert, interpreting every sensation as potentially threatening. This is where IV sedation becomes relevant. You’re conscious but deeply relaxed. The anxiety that amplifies pain is chemically bypassed.

This isn’t admitting defeat. It’s acknowledging that your physiology and psychology affect your experience, and matching the tool to the need.

Question 3: “Is this treatment actually necessary, or are you just trying to make money?”

The private dentistry trust gap is real. You’re paying directly, not going through the NHS, so there’s an inherent question: is this treatment being recommended because I need it, or because it’s profitable?

Let’s address this directly. Unnecessary treatment is not just unethical—it’s bad business. A practice that recommends work you don’t need will lose patients rapidly once word spreads. And in an area like Teddington, word spreads.

But the question of “necessary” is more nuanced than it first appears. There’s essential treatment (deal with this or lose the tooth), recommended treatment (this will prevent problems and save you money long-term), and optional treatment (this is purely aesthetic and up to you).

A good dentist distinguishes between these categories clearly. They explain what happens if you choose to do nothing. They show you photographs of the problem so you can see what they’re seeing. They give you time to consider options.

Dr Shivani Patel’s philosophy is about taking time to show patients what’s happening rather than just telling them. If there’s gum disease, you see the pocket measurements and the X-rays showing bone loss. If there’s decay, you see where the tooth structure has broken down. Informed consent means you actually understand the information, not just that information was provided.

The “do nothing” option is always available. Sometimes we genuinely recommend watching and waiting. Not every issue needs immediate intervention. Small areas of wear might be monitored for years before treatment becomes necessary. Early decay might be managed with improved hygiene and fluoride rather than immediate fillings.

If you’re unsure whether recommended treatment is essential, ask explicitly: “What happens if I don’t do this?” The answer will tell you how urgent it actually is.

Question 4: “What happens if I just… don’t get this fixed?”

Dental disease doesn’t improve on its own. It progresses. The question is how fast and what the end point looks like.

A small cavity will become a large cavity. Left long enough, it reaches the nerve, causing pain and requiring root canal treatment. Left even longer, the tooth becomes unrestorable and needs extraction.

That progression might take six months or six years depending on your oral environment, diet, and hygiene. But the direction of travel is consistent: worse, not better.

Gum disease follows a similar path. Gingivitis (reversible gum inflammation) becomes periodontitis (irreversible bone loss). Teeth become loose. Eventually they’re lost, either falling out or requiring extraction because they’re no longer functional.

But here’s where it gets more complicated: not every issue follows an urgent timeline. A small chip in a front tooth might never get worse. It’s purely aesthetic, and you might live with it indefinitely without consequence. A slightly worn tooth from grinding might be stable for decades before it becomes a problem.

Mr Dipesh Patel, our specialist oral surgeon, makes this distinction constantly when assessing wisdom teeth. Some impacted wisdom teeth will definitely cause problems—they’re pressing on adjacent teeth, partially erupted and vulnerable to infection, or developing cysts. Others are fully buried, symptom-free, and likely to remain that way. The recommendation changes based on actual risk, not blanket rules.

The honest answer to “what if I don’t fix this?” ranges from “you’ll lose the tooth within a year” to “it might never bother you, but we should monitor it” to “it’s only aesthetic, entirely your choice.”

Ask the question. We’ll give you the actual timeline and consequences, not a sales pitch.

Question 5: “Why is it so expensive? Can I just get the cheaper option?”

Dental treatment is expensive. There’s no way to soften that reality or pretend otherwise.

The cost reflects materials, time, expertise, laboratory fees, and the overhead of running a regulated healthcare practice. A crown that costs £900 involves multiple appointments, precision work, and a custom restoration made by a dental technician. An implant that costs £2,500 involves surgical placement, a titanium post, healing time, and a custom crown.

These aren’t inflated prices. They’re the actual cost of delivering quality care.

But let’s talk about the “cheaper option” question, because it comes up constantly.

There are cheaper materials. Amalgam (silver) fillings cost less than composite (white) fillings. But they’re also more visible, require more tooth removal to place, and have fallen out of favour for good reasons. We rarely use them anymore unless a patient specifically requests them.

There are cheaper solutions to missing teeth. A denture costs significantly less than an implant. But it’s also removable, less stable, and doesn’t prevent the bone loss that happens when a tooth is missing. Over ten years, the “cheap” option often ends up costing more in adjustments, replacements, and the consequences of ongoing bone loss.

Dr. Karim Verjee, who has over 20 years of experience in implant dentistry, has this conversation regularly. The upfront cost of an implant is higher. The long-term value—in function, in bone preservation, in not having to worry about it—is almost always better.

That said, cost is a legitimate barrier. We offer 0% finance because spreading the cost makes treatment accessible to people who couldn’t manage a lump sum. The goal is to remove financial barriers to necessary care, not create them.

If the quoted treatment is genuinely beyond your budget, say so. We can often phase treatment over time, addressing the most urgent issues first and spreading the rest across several months or even years.

Question 6: “My [spouse/friend/internet forum] says I should get [X treatment]. Should I?”

Dental advice from non-dentists is dangerous. Well-meaning, but dangerous.

Your friend’s veneers might look amazing. That doesn’t mean veneers are the right solution for you. Their teeth, their facial structure, their bite, their dental history—all different from yours. What worked brilliantly for them might be entirely wrong for your situation.

Internet forums are even worse. You’re getting advice from people who might not even be in the same country, let alone the same clinical situation. UK dental regulations, materials, and standards differ from the US, Australia, or anywhere else. And forums attract people with strong opinions, not necessarily people with accurate information.

Here’s the fundamental problem: every mouth is different. The treatment that’s appropriate depends on your specific anatomy, your dental health, your aesthetic goals, and your budget. Generic advice cannot account for these variables.

This is where Digital Smile Design becomes valuable. Instead of guessing what treatment might achieve, you can see what would actually work for your face. Dr. Saara Majid uses this approach with patients considering orthodontics or smile makeovers. The planning software shows you the projected result based on your actual teeth and facial proportions.

You’re not taking someone else’s word for what would look good. You’re looking at your own face with the proposed changes and deciding if that’s what you want.

The conversation should always start with what bothers you about your current smile, not what treatment your friend recommended. The treatment is the solution. We need to understand the problem first.

Question 7: “I’m really embarrassed about the state of my teeth. Are they the worst you’ve seen?”

No. Not even close.

Dentists don’t have a mental ranking of “worst teeth.” We see severe neglect, trauma, disease, and complications constantly. What you think is uniquely terrible is, to us, just a clinical starting point.

You’re also comparing your teeth to an imagined standard of perfection that doesn’t exist. Most people’s teeth have imperfections. Slight misalignment. Old fillings. Areas of wear. These are completely normal.

The teeth we remember aren’t the “worst” ones—they’re the transformations. The patient who came in after years of avoidance and left with restored function and confidence. The person who thought they’d need full dentures but actually kept most of their teeth with proper treatment. Those are the memorable cases, because the outcome matters more than the starting point.

Shame is a barrier to care. It keeps you from seeking treatment, which makes the problem worse, which increases the shame. It’s a destructive cycle that benefits no one.

Dr Keiron Thompson’s perspective: everyone’s starting point is valid. You’re not being judged. You’re being assessed so we can create a treatment plan. The gap between where you are and where you want to be is just logistics and time.

If you’re reading this and thinking your teeth are too far gone, they probably aren’t. And even if they are as problematic as you fear, that’s information we need in order to help you. The appointment you’re avoiding out of embarrassment is the appointment that starts fixing the problem.

The Bonus Question: “Can I ask you something weird?”

Yes. Always yes.

We’ve heard questions about everything from whether coffee or red wine stains worse (red wine, typically) to whether electric toothbrushes are actually better (yes, for most people) to whether we can tell if someone has been vomiting regularly (yes, the pattern of enamel erosion is distinctive).

The question you’re hesitating to ask has been asked before. Maybe hundreds of times. And even if it hasn’t, we’d rather you asked than worried silently or looked for answers on Reddit.

The patients who do best are the ones who treat us as partners in their care, not authority figures to be feared. Ask about alternatives. Ask about timelines. Ask what happens if you choose differently. Ask why we’re recommending one approach over another.

A good dentist appreciates questions because they indicate engagement. You’re taking ownership of your dental health rather than passively accepting whatever we tell you.

Why These Questions Matter

Every question you’re too embarrassed to ask represents a barrier to effective care.

If you’re not honest about flossing, we can’t help you find a routine that actually works. If you don’t tell us something hurts, we can’t adjust. If you don’t question whether treatment is necessary, you can’t make informed decisions. If you don’t ask about cost, you might avoid care you can actually afford with 0% finance.

The awkwardness is temporary. The consequences of not asking compound over time.

We’d rather you asked 47 questions and felt confident than stayed silent and worried. The appointment is yours. The treatment is yours. The questions are yours to ask.

Have questions about your dental health? Book an appointment at Kirby Dental Practice and actually ask them. Call 0208 977 5939 or visit us at 53-55 High Street, Teddington. No question is too basic, too embarrassing, or too complicated. That’s what we’re here for.